The information does not claim to be a scientific work, but is the quintessence of my own experience and the experience of familiar parents

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Have you already bought your child the latest Lego set with Super Sonic, the child played it for 10 minutes and forgot? The house is full of toys, and the child asks for more and more?

Why do
we buy so
many toys?

The toy industry pursues parents and children on the Internet, in social networks, advertising on packaging, stores, demanding, begging to buy a cool new toy right now!

How sellers and children encourage us to buy:

Passive aggression

Gamble

Jealousy

Buy!!!

* These are my daughter's drawings:

*

Hulk

Spider-Man

Captain America

Gargoyle

What to do?

What is
a child's game?

Let's try to understand the question

Sensation!
There is an opinion that a child doesn't need toys at all before the age of 3! The main task of a child at this age is gross motor skills and mastering the world.

This is why toddlers are often more willing to play with bags, sand, flour on the floor, toilet paper, rocks, plastic bottles, boxes, sticks, etc., which sometimes puzzled adults.

up to 3 years

Up to the age of 3, and even beyond, the best toys are real-life objects: pots, spoons, bottles, boxes, rocks, sand, etc., as well as mom and dad. But of course we had toys: cubes, bears, Lego, rubber soft squeakers.

4–7 years

At the age of 4-7 years, children enter the stage of conscious games. With all the variety in games of this age, there is one thing in common:

games are almost always based on such a mental operation as assigning a different meaning to an object, introducing it into a role

Cube

The cube becomes a table, then a chair, then a car, then a house

And here toys can already come in handy.

Cube

And also game can help to get out of difficult situations

My daughter saw a live bug and wanted to make it her pet. Explanations that the bug has a family and he wants to go home did not work very well. A storm was brewing. Then together we drew and cut out a bug family from paper, and they became our pets. A live bug was released into nature.

How do I
choose toys

I prefer Montessori toys (made by natural materials: wood, fabric, cardboard, non-acidic colors, pleasant to touch, high-quality made: without chips, burrs, etc., I say "no" to — sound loud-playing plastic toys. Although they quite "came in" at an older age)

The toy should be age appropriate

If you gave the game too early, the child doesn't understand how to play or throws the game away — hide it for a few months

We had a shape sorter in which the parts did not fit properly — terribly pissed me and the child.

The toy should work well

The toy should not be scary, loud — but it certainly depends of the taste of the child. My daughter loves the Hulk at the age of 4.

The toy should not scare

because I have to play it with my child

I have to like the toy

I also like simple multifunctional toys (balls, cubes, constructors, mosaics), which can be construction materials, animals, characters from favorite cartoons. A child can see anything he or she wants in them, it's good for developing the imagination.
We have a mosaic, the pebbles from which for a while became pets — colorful frogs.

How to play with a child?

The cognitive activity of a child depends on the behavior of adults during the game

The mother asked the child to sit still and not touch anything, and the two of them waited motionlessly for the specialist to return. If the child tried to take something, the mother asked him not to do it.

Mom took a magazine out of her bag and immerse herself in reading, paying no attention to the child. He or she gradually became bolder, began to take everything, examine, twist, etc.

Mom enthusiastically said to the child: "Look, what good games!" And she began to show the child and explain how to play them.

The mother, forgetting about the child, with excitement grabbed one game, then another and tried to understand what it was and why. The child, too, was grabbing and looking at everything on his own.

There was such an experiment. A mother and her preschool-age child were invited into a room full of interesting and incomprehensible gizmos. The organizer of the experiment would left the room and offered to feel like "at home".

There were four main types of behavior:

And here are the results:

Children will develop beautifully on their own if we (parents) will create a comfortable and interesting environment in which they (children) will feel comfortable and safe. And we will set an example of curiosity and normal human communication.

The highest rates of cognitive activity were among the children of inquisitive mothers in the fourth group. Here everything worked for cognition: the mother is nearby, she explores everything herself, the child imitates, he is calm and fun, and the process is in full swing.

Then came the children of mothers from the second group. Here mothers did not set an example, but with their presence and calmness they ensured safety, and nature took its course.

And the worst results were among those children who were forbidden everything, and for those who were supervised.

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Rules of the game

Here are my, perhaps far from ideal, rules of our games with my daughter

Even if we want to praise a child, we don't say, "That's great!" right away, we wait until heor she finishes. Again, we are improving our ability to concentrate.

If the child is busy and passionate about the game, creativity, do not distract!

Just watching pigeons, leaving pebbles in a puddle is not a pointless waste of time, it is development!

Don't constantly try to occupy your child with something

We praise taking into account the concept of growth thinking: not just "You're good!", but we emphasize the actions or efforts made: "You did a great job and built a tall tower." "I'm proud of you! You did a wonderful job and it turned out better than last time!"

Praising your child for his efforts and doing it right

The child can get the necessary toy as much as possible on his own, pour himself water, change clothes (there is a bench, low hooks for clothes, a mirror at the child's level, etc.). We develop independence!

Creating a safe accessible environment for the child

Mom and Dad are a child's most important possessions, and frequent rejection can make them feel unwanted. Sometimes it's enough just to sit quietly next to your child and watch him or her while he or she is engrossed in play, just occasionally exchanging a few words or helping him or her with something if the child asks for help.

If the kid wants to play, if possible, we do not refuse

To learn to concentrate and not to constantly switch attention.

Leave not too many toys available and rotate, no more than ten toys for very young children.

Not to throw a careless "Think, nonsense, it would be something to cry about", but to listen, accept the problem and try to find a solution together. If a child is upset, it's not nonsense for him.

In any situation, we respect the child, do not devalue his or her feelings and deeds

What should I do anyway?

The child will soon grow up and his or her interests will change. After all, from "Mom, let's play!" to "Mom, let's talk tomorrow, I have guests'' — time will pass without you noticing.

Catch the moment!

Drawings by Anna Kochevanova

Even if buying a million of toys won't affect on your budget — it's unlikely that a million of toys will make your child happier.

What to do?

Don't give in.
Or just a little bit)

If possible, bypass toy stores and try to get your child interested in playing together with the toys you have. Get creative, make a toy together!

You will find materials from the following sources on this site:

My own experience

The most important thing kids need is not a mountain of toys, but protection, care and our love!